Tried anal once in the past and it was a nightmare. Any advice on how to do it right so it doesn't feel like a freight train in my ass?

Question: 

I tried anal once a long time ago, and he just managed to push it all the way in one time, and I think I cried for about 5 minutes afterward, and it ruined the experience. Since then, I have not fully tried it because I'm so terrified of tearing my ass in half. But I am certainly Interested, and my SO is as well... and i do enjoy finger play... Any advice?

Answer: 

Note that there are whole books about doing anal.

The first pain is usually because the outer anal sphincter is not relaxed, but is clenching, and then pushing anything passed it forces it and hurts like wow.

But, with the right about of preparatory stimulation (and being otherwise relaxed, and into what's happening), such as stimulating the outside and gently inserting a well-lubed finger, and working up finger by finger, challenging the sphincter a little, you can get it to tense up then relax. You can do this repeatedly. Once relaxed, then the entry is not painful, but may be intense. Once that first hurdle is overcome, and you've got the wide part of the head passed it, it's easy to slide all the way on.

It might help for you to be on top for this part--so you can control the timing and speed of initial entry.

The second pain point is usually when your guts feel like they're being prodded--so start slow, find that point, and reduce depth or change angle or both. And there must be lots and lots of lube. Something slick, not sticky, and not too thin or too thick. If it starts to feel hot or otherwise uncomfortable, stop--also don't feel obligated to go at it a lot the first time.

If you like it, great. If not, OK. You were GGG and tried it.

amber's picture
Amber Hoffman

I am writer and editor at Bedroom Stories online magazine, writing about sexual relationships and better understanding our lives. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]

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